Christmas: What Ugandan Dictators can learn from the late Roman Tyrants

What President of the NRM regime, Yoweri K. Museveni, must learn from the late Roman tyrants (the richest, most powerful people in world history, given inflation), whose power was threatened by the birth of a little Jewish kid in a barn:

If you want to steal land to expand your empire, train your men under the world’s largest militias and ask those militias to fund your ventures:

When you want even more land, burn down residences, even if they are the insufficient homes you forced people into when you stole their land the first time.  This will make your citizens live in fear:

Tax the hell out of everyone, and then make them call you “Lord” if they want to eat, and give them only the food they produced for you on the land you stole from them:

And when you want to save money for even more toys….

Have the food distributed to your people by foreign powers:

Tell the masses you are the Lord of Peace and Wealth for all:

Convince them their security is dependent on your protective measures:

Get your subjects’ minds off of politics by turning their attention to majestic international athletic events:

madhvani staff receiving baseballs

As for any voice of dissent, imprison them, make the trial process arbitrary, and torture them at will:

Poison politically influential people who don’t like you:

When all is said and done, the debt you owe to your people will become your fear, in which you will wallow until you face your demise or your empire falls.

All hail the coming of the TRUE Son of God (not Caesar, not Museveni).  He who brings rulers down from their thrones and exalts the humble.  He who fills the hungry with good things and sends the rich away empty.  The migrant peasant who rises to glory not through a sword, but through a donkey and a towel.

[this post partially inspired by A Collective]

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